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The Fantail

In nautical terms the fantail is the furthest aft part of the main deck of a warship, sort of the 'back porch', where Sailors off watch go to grab a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, tell sea stories, or share a ribald joke.

Members: 14
Latest Activity: Aug 18

WHAT'S THE FANTAIL?

If you look up "fantail" in your Funk and Wagnalls you'll find it defined something like "An Australian or Oriental flycatcher (genus Rhipidura) having fan-shaped tail feathers."

Funk and Wagnall's don't have a clue!

On the other hand, if you were a tin-can Sailor (prize to the first non-Sailor who correctly tells us what a "tin-can Sailor" is) you'd immediately envision a picture sorta like the one above.

In nautical terms the fantail is the furthest aft part of the main deck of a warship, sort of the 'back porch', where Sailors off watch go to grab a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, tell sea stories (what's the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale?), discuss the next liberty port, brag about the gal they met in the last liberty port, or tell their buddies what they're going to do about the guy who caused their girl-next-door to send them a "Dear John". It's where a snipe goes to get a breath of fresh air after a long watch in the engineroom, or where a young Ensign on his first sea cruise goes to watch God's sunset as no landlubber ever saw one and maybe be lucky enough to see the "green flash". It's where a crusty old Chief takes a wayward Seaman Deuce for a private a$$ chewing away from his mates in the workspace, and it's where the Skipper musters "all hands not actually on watch" to publicly commend the crew for all the hard work that went into their ship earning the squadron battle efficiency "E" for the 3rh consecutive year.

I think that we ought to have a "fantail" here on Navy Dads, so I've started one. It will be an informal place, free of political correctness, with maybe sometimes salty (but never crude-just-to-be-crude or offensive) language, and like the fantail of a ship, a place to "be ourselves".

Now, anyone have a spare smoke? --- I seem to be fresh out

Discussion Forum

Bastard!

Started by Hans, The Old Salt. Last reply by NavyDads Co-Admin, Jim Aug 31, 2009. 1 Reply

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Comment by NavyDads Co-Admin, Jim on August 18, 2014 at 9:21pm

Ha ha!! Now there's some funny stuff right there!

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on August 18, 2014 at 9:10pm

Five cannibals were employed by the Navy as translators during one of the island campaigns of World War II. When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, “You’re all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Sailors are eating. So please do not indulge yourselves by eating a Sailor.”

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, “You’re all working hard, and I’m very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?”

The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, “Which of you idiots ate the Chief?” A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, “You idiot! For four weeks we’ve been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a Chief!”

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on August 18, 2014 at 9:10pm

At a command picnic, a bunch of officers were standing around talking. A Lieutenant said, “I think that making love is 80% fun and 20% work.”

A Commander responded by saying, “No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work.”

Then a Captain said, “No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it’s more like 20% fun and 80% work.”

They continued to discuss the matter for several minutes until a Chief Petty Officer walked by. The officers called the Chief over to ask his opinion.

The Captain said, “Chief, we’re having a discussion, and we’d like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The CDR thinks that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. What’s your opinion?”

The Chief scratched his chin and said, “Sir, I think you’re all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun, because if there was any work involved, you’d have an Enlisted man doing it for you!”

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on May 15, 2014 at 12:32pm

An Admiral visits one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the US Naval Insignia stamped on every biscuit.

He went to the cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command. The cook replied, "Well Admiral, after each one is cut out I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the insignia".

Horrified, the Admiral exclaims "That's very unhygienic!"

The cook shrugs and replies "In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the Doughnuts".

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on June 6, 2013 at 10:15pm

saw this on FB and just had to share:

My daughter is in the Navy and is currently an HMC going through PA school in San Diego. She realyed a story to me that, when she was a young HN, stationed in Okinawa with one of those Marines groups, she had a very large E-8 (First SGT??) chew her ass for something stupid He was really wound up. After about 5 minutes with spittle forming on the sides of his mouth, and she just looking at him, he could not believe she was not shaking in her boots. When he asked her why she was not shaking, she replied (I love this part the best) "You aren't chewing my ass. I grew up with a Master Chief as a Dad. I know what an ass chewing is and you are just talking to me." Brought a tear to my eye.
Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on May 12, 2012 at 12:10pm

for all you "bubbleheads".....

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on March 16, 2012 at 9:17am

not Navy but it still cracks me up:

Stayin' Alive with the Irish Army......

and laugh if you will, but on a serious note: the tempo of Staylin' Alive matches the suggested tempo for cardiac compressions for the current suggested CPR technique.  You may want to watch and remind yourself of the rhythm- you may save somebodies life!!!!

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on February 10, 2012 at 11:07am

Another touching "teacher story"!!!!

 

The Marine Pilot

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:  Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.  The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. 

There were all the regular types of stuff:  Spilled milk and pennies saved.  But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left. 

"Janie, do you have a story to share?" 

'Yes ma'am.  My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.  She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. 




She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." 

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.  What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?" 

"Don't
MESS  with Mommy when she's been drinking."     

I love these touching stories!

 

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on August 28, 2011 at 10:20pm

A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.

 

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't

noticeable.

 

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks.

 

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest.

 

... Dead silence...

He had no trouble with discipline all year.

Comment by Dick on March 21, 2011 at 8:34am
Great pictures.  The aircraft look so graceful yet so lethal at the same time.  What a combination.  Say your prayers now cause things are about to change.
 

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