Off to Boot Camp

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on October 5, 2015 at 4:24pm

If I've pointed you to this in the past forgive me, but it speaks volumes about what we dads go thru:

    lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....    "I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by David Keith on October 5, 2015 at 4:44pm

That was an excellent post!

My son left for boot camp 2 weeks ago. We went to the swearing in and the airport. I have felt and currently am feeling the emotions you have both described. The first full day was very strange, not only for me but my wife and daughter felt it also. After that we all gradually have adjusted to it. I have been looking at this website and the Facebook pages for about a month now. Everyone has been so supportive because they've either been through it or are at some stage of going through it now.

I find letter writing therapeutic. I believe it helps me as much as it will help my son. I'm talking about some personal stuff and I ramble on about sports and how his favorite teams are doing.  I find myself thinking "he'd really enjoy this". If you're tech savvy you can put photos on the paper you're writing on. I print out sports stories and write his letter on the back of the pages.

I believe it will help him get through boot camp.

Looking forward to the PIR on 11/13/15.

David Keith 

Permalink Reply by Louie Patton on October 5, 2015 at 7:58pm

Thanks a lot David,

I like you feel that writing letters right now helps.  He to wanted to know about his favorite teams so that's what Ive been rambling on about. I'm afraid to say how much I miss cause I don't want to make him homesick when he finally gets the letters.  How long did it take before you got your sons mailing address.  It doesn't seem that day will come soon enough.  My wife and daughter, whose is in her first year at Louisiana Tech University as a cheerleader, also broke down as I did and it even made it sooo much harder cause I'm supposed to be the strong one.  My wife and I are here at home, wondering what happened. All of a sudden were alone and he's not here to joke and kid with us, to play golf with me.

Thank God for this site and people like you thanks for your support.

Louie Patton

David Keith said:

That was an excellent post!

My son left for boot camp 2 weeks ago. We went to the swearing in and the airport. I have felt and currently am feeling the emotions you have both described. The first full day was very strange, not only for me but my wife and daughter felt it also. After that we all gradually have adjusted to it. I have been looking at this website and the Facebook pages for about a month now. Everyone has been so supportive because they've either been through it or are at some stage of going through it now.

I find letter writing therapeutic. I believe it helps me as much as it will help my son. I'm talking about some personal stuff and I ramble on about sports and how his favorite teams are doing.  I find myself thinking "he'd really enjoy this". If you're tech savvy you can put photos on the paper you're writing on. I print out sports stories and write his letter on the back of the pages.

I believe it will help him get through boot camp.

Looking forward to the PIR on 11/13/15.

David Keith 

Permalink Reply by Louie Patton on October 5, 2015 at 8:00pm

Thanks Jim to you and this website. Thanks for ALL the info on here to help us through this difficult time and for your support to all on here.

Louie Patton

NavyDads Co-Admin, Jim said:

Louie, we were all there once too. I will never forget the day we watched him get into the van and go off to MEPS. I would have loved to see him swearing in. So just stick with us...we're here for you.

Permalink Reply by Louie Patton on October 5, 2015 at 8:07pm

"Thanks Paul to you and this website. This is one of the things I read that inspired me to write my post. Thanks for ALL the info on here to help us through our difficult time and for your support to all on here. Louie Patton "

NavyDads Admin (Paul) said:

If I've pointed you to this in the past forgive me, but it speaks volumes about what we dads go thru:

    lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....    "I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by Hello2u on October 5, 2015 at 8:33pm

wow this brings back memories yes it's the hardest thing a parent has to do is let go they were never ours to keep but be prepared after boot camp when their truly gone than it really hits you that your darling child has grown up and became a young man or young lady even tough my son is based near me I still miss him at home making a mess and eating up all the food hahaha cheers! keep the faith keep strong

Permalink Reply by David Keith on October 6, 2015 at 6:37am

Louie:

Adam shipped out on 9/22 (Tuesday) and much to our pleasant surprise we received "the box" and the form letter with his address the following Monday, 9/28. We had a going away party with about 30 friends of all ages and I had laid out some note cards and small envelopes for the guests to write him in advance. We ended up with about 24 cards so we put one or two in the mail every day along with the ones we write.

If you're concerned about letting him know how much you miss him I would suggest that you turn that around with positive comments like  'I'm so proud of you', 'you're a true patriot', or 'you're my hero'.

If you're concerned about showing the emotions in front of your daughter take heart in knowing she can see how much you love your children, this will make her feel very good. we've never been through this before and talking about it as a family will allow your whole family to deal with it better through the new unified bond you share.

Louie Patton said:

Thanks a lot David,

I like you feel that writing letters right now helps.  He to wanted to know about his favorite teams so that's what Ive been rambling on about. I'm afraid to say how much I miss cause I don't want to make him homesick when he finally gets the letters.  How long did it take before you got your sons mailing address.  It doesn't seem that day will come soon enough.  My wife and daughter, whose is in her first year at Louisiana Tech University as a cheerleader, also broke down as I did and it even made it sooo much harder cause I'm supposed to be the strong one.  My wife and I are here at home, wondering what happened. All of a sudden were alone and he's not here to joke and kid with us, to play golf with me.

Thank God for this site and people like you thanks for your support.

Louie Patton

David Keith said:

That was an excellent post!

My son left for boot camp 2 weeks ago. We went to the swearing in and the airport. I have felt and currently am feeling the emotions you have both described. The first full day was very strange, not only for me but my wife and daughter felt it also. After that we all gradually have adjusted to it. I have been looking at this website and the Facebook pages for about a month now. Everyone has been so supportive because they've either been through it or are at some stage of going through it now.

I find letter writing therapeutic. I believe it helps me as much as it will help my son. I'm talking about some personal stuff and I ramble on about sports and how his favorite teams are doing.  I find myself thinking "he'd really enjoy this". If you're tech savvy you can put photos on the paper you're writing on. I print out sports stories and write his letter on the back of the pages.

I believe it will help him get through boot camp.

Looking forward to the PIR on 11/13/15.

David Keith